Okay, first af all.. I have been thinking and writing in English almost for the last three days, so, it just feel more natural to write in english. Oh shit, where do I start. I know there would be lots of grammar mistakes but i think id someone is reading this they got the point.

Okay here's the deal.

I have talked before my obsession about Once upon a time and Captain Hook, right?

I looked back at my old posts, and realize I haven't talk about my other obsession what I got about 8 months ago. Last fall I bought GTAV and got obsessed of it. Specially with the one character, Michael. I played for hours and hours, and watched lots of clips on Youtube. I kinda fell in love with the character. I found his actor twitter and started to tweet back at his tweets. And he favourite many of them, and it felt great. I felt alive, which i haven't felt for a long time. I laughed and cursed myself asking what the hell was wrong with me? How did I get obsessed with a video game? 

But I realized that that was one of my methods to hang up on this life. I have done this before, Lord of the Rings when I was a teenager, my favourite band for the last ten years.. Since they haven't releasing an album for a 4 years, I needed to focused my passion to something else. And that was GTA.

"'We're all addicted to something that takes away the pain'"

But over the time, my GTA and Michael obsession has been faded. And I found again something else.

Uncharted 4 and it's character Samuel Drake.

Dear lord what the hell is wrong with me?

I don't have PS4, where the game has been released year ago. But couple months ago I went to visit my mom, and my brother had PS4, so I asked if I could try the game. I started it and it was so good. I couldn't stop playing it. I came back couple weeks later, when my brother wasn't at home, and I could sleep on his room, so I stayed up like 2am and played the game.

I went back couple of times, and I finished the game. Okay, this was a great game, I thinked and didn't thought it it that much.

But about two weeks ago, one of the character, Sam Drake, came into my mind. I noticed that I was watching video clips on youtube over and over again. Because I couldn't play the game at home, I needed to be part of the story somehow. I realized I thinked him alot, and last wednesday night before going to bed, I got this idea for fanfiction, and started to write it down on my phone the next morning when I headed to work.

On thursday I wrote and wrote, and in the evening I wrote more. When I friday morning moved my text to Word, there was five pages of text. I read it and it was good. But I realized, that there was something missing. I realized that the text didn't worked on my mother language. So I started to translate into English. I know my English isn't that good, but I thought I should give it a try.

And when I kept writing, I realize that it was perfect. So I started to write more and more. Almost all the weekend I sat on my apartment, writing with my computer. And when I get into bed, I wrote more on my phone. Once in a while I looked some clips on youtube to see him, and try to see what he is  deep inside.

My heart beat in my chest, and kept having this grin on my face when I think of him. I realize I'm in love with a game character. 

Holy shit, i seriously need help.

I haven't been in love with a real person for a like, 8 years? I never met someone, maybe because I'm afraid or maybe it's because my low self-esteem. And I cannot understand, why some fiction animated character is better? I cannot ever get him, or see him, or nothing. He's not even real. He's just a punch of pixels which lots of people worked on for years. Why the hell I loved him?

I don't know. My head is such a mess..

I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me. Why on earth I am like this?

(I was suppose to put a gif but it didn't work, so i just put a picture of him, lol)

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